My First Farewell

So, today I had to say my first goodbye in what is sure to be a long line of them. Despite my insistence that I want to leave New Hampshire and have an adventure (and I do, don't get me wrong), I also realize that I've really found a comfortable life here. I care a lot about the people I know, the things I do, the places I go... and now I have to say goodbye to them all and start over. I won't be totally starting from scratch, but it won't be easy (especially because I'm notoriously bad at making this type of transition).

Anyway, in mid-August I'm going to have to turn my world upside-down and move away from the life that I've just started building here. It's sad and exciting at the same time, and tonight I'm feeling more sad than excited. I had my last yoga class, and I really, really adore the instructor, Kristen, and I'm honestly very upset about the fact that I won't see her anymore. Not to mention that I'll just miss the class itself, too (and Stacy, Seth, Kelli, and Sondra, my constant companions in that class). As I left class tonight, I was holding back tears... and it didn't help that Kristen was sad to see me go, as well. And of course once I got in the car, I wasn't very successful at holding the tears back.

When I leave in August, I'm going to have to say goodbye to a really big number of people... I guess that's normal when you live and work somewhere for a while. I'm thinking of all my colleagues and friends, my roomie, and my surrogate family members, and I realize that the last week of work is going to consist mainly of me running to the bathroom to sob at random moments (and quite often).

The annoying part is that it's not like I'm going THAT far away, and I'll be able to visit pretty often. It's not like I'm really saying a permanent goodbye to any of these people... but I'm sad to give up a life that has finally seemed natural and good to me. I struggled to feel comfortable for most of my life, and now that I've found a situation that suits me I have to give it up. I'm doing it for good (and inevitable) reasons, but I'm not particularly happy about it at the moment. And although the city will be a fun adventure, I sincerely doubt that this country bumpkin is going to take to it quickly or permanently. Don't worry, NH, I'll be back soon.